here and now

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rashmi

What I thought love is was never love. Surrender!

I felt betrayed from my brother, left behind. He was as happy as he could be and when I saw myself in that light all closed down I couldn't stand the pain of being shut off from that happiness and certainty and after some tears of self-pity I gave up. And I still give up. Right now I give up. Again.

I refuse to go down this road again. For a moment and for another moment I need all my discipline to ask for another thought...not that painfull one! ... A true thought...for a change. This time, this moment I want to think differently. No ego games...like looking for revenge or putting me down. That is what I find on the two opposite ends of my scale of poor choices of reaction.

In my mind I ask my "enemy" for help- I join with what I know is the light in my brother...and there it is, the clarity of the light of my mind. It is so physical that I cry from the release.

When I surrender who am I? If I let that happen, if I give up what is left of me than?
On the other hand: If I'm just open for a moment, what can I loose?

...I rather give up and be happy than right! I give up my ideas how things should be, what I think would make me happy. When I let go I discover that I'm happy right now...and that my brother is right there with me with all the power to keep me save.

VI. The Illusion of Needs

You who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness. No learning is acquired by anyone unless he wants to learn it and believes in some way that he needs it. While lack does not exist in the creation of God, it is very apparent in what you have made. It is, in fact, the essential difference between them.
Lack implies that you would be better off in a state somehow different from the one you are in.

Until the "separation," which is the meaning of the "fall," nothing was lacking. There were no needs at all. Needs arise only when you deprive yourself. You act according to the particular order of needs you establish. This, in turn, depends on your perception of what you are. A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct. This sense of separation would never have arisen if you had not distorted your perception of truth, and had thus perceived yourself as lacking. The idea of order of needs arose because, having made this fundamental error, you had already fragmented yourself into levels with different needs.
As you integrate you become one, and your needs become one accordingly. Unified needs lead to unified action, because this produces a lack of conflict. The idea of orders of need, which follows from the original error that one can be separated from God, requires correction at its own level before the error of perceiving levels at all can be corrected. You cannot behave effectively while you function on different levels.

However, while you do, correction must be introduced vertically from the bottom up. This is because you think you live in space, where concepts such as "up" and "down" are meaningful. Ultimately, space is as meaningless as time. Both are merely beliefs. The real purpose of this world is to use it to correct your unbelief. You can never control the effects of fear yourself, because you made fear, and you believe in what you made. In attitude, then, though not in content, you resemble your Creator, Who has perfect faith in His creations because He created them. Belief produces the acceptance of existence.

That is why you can believe what no one else thinks is true. It is true for you because it was made by you. All aspects of fear are untrue because they do not exist at the creative level, and therefore do not exist at all. To whatever extent you are willing to submit your beliefs to this test, to that extent are your perceptions corrected. In sorting out the false from the true, the miracle proceeds along these lines:

Perfect love casts out all fear
If fear exists,
Then there is not perfect love.

But:

Only perfect love exists.
If there is fear,
It produces a state that does not exist.

Believe this and you will be free.

Salvation is immediate. Unless you so perceive it, you will be afraid of it, believing that the risk of loss is great between the time its purpose is made yours and its effects will come to you. In this form is the error still obscured that is the source of fear. Salvation would wipe out the space you see between you still, and let you instantly become as one. And it is here you fear the loss would lie. Do not project this fear to time, for time is not the enemy that you perceive. Time is as neutral as the body is, except in terms of what you see it for.

If you would keep a little space between you and your brother still, you then would want a little time in which forgiveness is withheld a little while. And this but makes the interval between the time in which forgiveness is withheld from you and given seem dangerous, with terror justified.

Yet space between you and your brother is apparent
only in the present, now, and cannot be perceived in
future time. No more can it be overlooked except wit-
hin the present. Future loss is not your fear.But present
joining is your dread.

Who can feel desolation except now?
A future cause as yet has no effects.
And therefore must it be that if you fear, there is a present cause. And it is this that needs correction, not a future state.

The Holy Spirit can indeed make use of memory, for God Himself is there. Yet this is not a memory of past events, but only of a present state. You are so long accustomed to believe that memory holds only what is past, that it is hard for you to realize it is a skill that can remember now. The limitations on remembering the world imposes on it are as vast as those you let the world impose on you. There is no link of memory to the past. If you would have it there, then there it is. But only your desire made the link, and only you have held it to a part of time where guilt appears to linger still.

Appearances of the Risen Jesus.

CHAPTER 28
IN the evening of the sabbath day, when
the first day of the week began, there
came Mary of Magdala and the other Mary,
to see the tomb.
2 And behold, a great earthquake took place;
for the angel of the Lord came down from
heaven, and went up and rolled away the
stone from the door, and sat on it.
3 His appearance was like lightning, and
his garments white as snow.
4 And for fear of him the guards who were
watching trembled, and became as if they
were dead.
5 But the angel answered and said to the
women, You need not be afraid; for I know
that you are seeking Jesus who was crucified.
6 He is not here, for he has risen, just as he
had said. Come in, see the place where our
Lord was laid.
7 And go quickly, and tell his disciples that
he has risen from the dead; and behold, he
will be before you to Galilee; there you will
see him; behold, I have told you.
8 And they went away hurriedly from the
tomb with fear and with great joy, running
to tell his disciples.
9 And behold, Jesus met them, and said to
them, Peace be to you. And they came up
and laid hold of his feet, and worshipped him.
10 Then Jesus said to them, Do not be afraid;
but go and tell my brethren to go to Galilee,
and there they shall see me.
11 ¶ When they were going, some of the
guards came into the city, and told the high
priests everything that had happened.
12 So they gathered with the elders and took
counsel; and they gave money, not a small
sum, to the guards,
13 Telling them, Say that his disciples came
by night and stole him while we were sleeping.
14 And if this should be heard by the governor,
we will appeal to him, and declare that
you are blameless.
15 So they took the money, and did as they
were instructed; and this word went out
among the Jews, until this day.
16 ¶ The eleven disciples then went to Galilee
to a mountain, where Jesus had promised
to meet them.
17 And when they saw him, they worshipped
him; but some of them were doubtful.
18 And Jesus came up and spoke with them,
and said to them, All power in heaven and
on earth has been given to me. Just as my
Father has sent me I am also sending you.
19 Go, therefore, and convert all nations;
and baptize them in the name of the Father
and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit;
20 And teach them to obey everything that I
have commanded you; and, behold, I am with
you all the days , to the end of the world.
Amen.

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